From Fred Pack:

During Nam, when a lot of us "volunteered" to do the MATS flight, we went into Elmendorf to pick up a load of people.  I am the Second Officer at the time. I am alone in the cockpit, fueling our bird.

Into the cockpit bursts an Air force nugget, clipboard, and armband proclaiming that he is the MATS Duty Officer. "Let me have the crew list!"

"Who is the Captain "...so and so

"Who is the copilot" ... so and so

"Who is the flight Engineer"  .. We don't have one. We have a Second Officer.

"Are you the Captain?"...No

"Are you the copilot?" ..Not right now.

"Who in the hell are you mister?"

My name is Fred Pack and I am the Second Officer.

"Damn smart ass civilians!"

BOOM

ME: "Second  Lt xxxxx, I am the Second Officer, a qualified pilot, and a Major in the United States Marine Corps. Get the f*** off my airplane.

POOF, gone in a puff of smoke....

You may reprint this..

The language used was verbatim

 

“I learned about flying from that.

 

Friends and Colleagues

In the era of my Air Force service I was assigned to a MATS Troop Carrier Sqd. in the South Caroline and Georgia. MATS (Military Air Transport Service) or (Midnight Air Trucking Service) ( + other unprintable definitions) published an excellent publication called the MATS FLYER. I have to hand it MATS for having the wisdom to distribute an ‘in house’ publication that was both humorous and self-effacing. Included in the MATS FLYER was a section termed, “I learned about flying from that.” These ‘Oh *hit’ experiences were indeed worthy reads. In a similar context I am forwarding unique aviator stories to you that have been submitted by your colleagues. There are all intended for your amusement and not intended to deride anyone.